Source: https://www.yourskillfulmeans.com/knowledgebase/gottmans-marriage-tips/

  • Seek help early. Instead of waiting six years before looking for outside assistance, seek help as soon as a problem becomes known.
  • Edit yourself. Honesty is essential, but knowing every critical or negative thought hurts your partner.
  • Soften your “start-up.” When a problem arises, instead of beginning with an angry confrontation, bring up your concerns gently and carefully.
  • Accept influence. Both parties need to be able to accept and change feelings and plans due to the influence of the other party.
  • Have high standards. Only tolerate lousy behavior once it reaches a breaking point. Hold yourselves and one another to the highest reasonable standard.
  • Learn to repair or exit the argument. If it isn’t getting anywhere, change the subject, make a humorous or caring remark to lighten the mood, establish common ground, and back down when necessary. If it is especially heated, agree to take a 20-minute recess to cool down and then re-approach the situation with more level heads.
  • Focus on the bright side. Cultivate a positive climate rather than a negative one in your marriage. Continually say kind and loving things to your partner and about your relationship. These affirmations will only become more accurate with time.